Floodlight

War Underwear Gnomes

    Sen. Clinton calls for Rumsfeld's resignation

    WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Under tough questioning from U.S. senators, the head of U.S. Central Command acknowledged Thursday that Iraq could descend into civil war.

    "I believe that the sectarian violence is probably as bad as I've seen it, in Baghdad in particular, and that if not stopped it is possible that Iraq could move toward civil war," Gen. John Abizaid testified at a hearing before the Senate Armed Services Committee.

    Fueling this possibility, he said, was the combination of "sectarian violence, al Qaeda terrorists, insurgents and Shia militants."

So, basically, everyone that isn't a civilian (and not "dead"  because of our noble endeavor [about 120,000 so far])

    "Failure to apply coordinated regional and international pressure ... will further extremism" and could lead to a widening and more perilous conflict, he said.

    Abizaid was joined by Gen. Peter Pace, head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, whose exchanges with Sen. Hillary Clinton of New York were polite but testy.

    "Under your leadership, there have been numerous errors in judgment that have led us to where we are in Iraq and Afghanistan," said Clinton, a possible 2008 Democratic candidate for the White House.

"...errors in judgment..."?! Hillary, do you mean "blind, stupid acts that were were opposed by our best military analysts when they were proposed, and those analysts fired?

    After the hearing, Clinton called for Rumsfeld's resignation.

Duh!

    "The secretary has lost credibility with the Congress and with the people," she told The Associated Press. "It's time for him to step down."

    Her criticisms included not enough U.S. troops; the initial disbanding of the Iraqi army; and a lack of planning* to maintain stability after Iraqi President Saddam Hussein was overthrown.

    "You underestimated the nature and strength of the insurgency, the sectarian violence and the spread of Iranian influence," said Clinton.

Perhaps you mean, "Ignored the possibility of an insurgency  from the newly enfreed Islamacist factions and a whole shitload of foreigners who have trooped into Iraq over borders unprotected by our insufficient troops?

    The United States is boosting troop levels, not decreasing them, she said, and civilian and military casualties were also rising.

    Clinton also criticized Rumsfeld for underestimating the Taliban when he said in late 2002 that the group no longer existed in Afghanistan. The Taliban, which harbored Osama bin Laden, has since resurfaced with a vengeance.

    The defense secretary responded to Clinton. "Are there setbacks? Yes. Are there things that people can't anticipate? Yes. Does the enemy have a brain and continue to make adjustments on the ground requiring our forces to make adjustments? You bet," he said.

    "Is that going to continue to be the case? I think so. Is this problem going to get solved in the near term about this long struggle against violent extremism? No, I don't believe it is."

For the plain-English speaking among you, read. "Are there setbacks? Yes. Should we have anticipated this by listening to the finest minds in the civilian and military establishments instead of firing them for being "nervous Nellies"? Yes. Does the enemy have a brain and continue to make adjustments on the ground requiring our forces to make adjustments? You bet," he said.

"Is that going to continue to be the case? I think so. Is this problem going to get solved in the near term about this long struggle against violent extremism? No, I don't believe it is."

   

Rumsfeld: Withdrawal 'premature'

    Troop levels were based on what was "the best judgment" of commanders and civilian leadership, Rumsfeld said.

    He reiterated his position that a withdrawal of U.S. troops must be based on evolving conditions and warned against withdrawing them "prematurely."

"premature withdrawal...can have a high failure rate" and is not an effective terrorist control method, nor is "premature entry"

    The enemy wants to see U.S. public opinion divided, he said. Rumsfeld also noted the difficulty of a "balance between having too many [troops] and contributing to an insurgency by the feeling of occupation -- and the risk of having too few and having the security situation not be sufficient for the political progress to go forward."

"So, in essence, we don't know what the fuck to do now..."

    Rumsfeld disputed Clinton's contention that his assurances on successes in the past "have frankly proven to be unfulfilled."

    "I don't think that's true," he said. "I have never painted a rosy picture. I have been very measured in my words." He contended it would be tough finding "instances where I have been excessively optimistic."

So, who here remembers our "Catastrophic success" there?

   British envoy warned of civil war

    The hearing came on the heels of a leaked diplomatic cable, in which Britain's outgoing ambassador to Baghdad, William Patey, warned that civil war was more likely than a successful transition to democracy in Iraq.

Don't it pain ya when your best buds finally decide you are a complete dork? Looks like we'll be able to eat French Fries und Vienerschnitzel again soon, but may have to give up fish'n'chips.

    Abizaid defined three main objectives in dealing with the Middle East, which he said he has "rarely seen ... so unsettled and so volatile." Those aims were defeating al Qaeda; deterring Iran; and developing a comprehensive solution to the Arab-Israeli conflict.

    The general said he was optimistic, however, that the "slide can be prevented."

    "The army is holding together ... and the government is committed to bringing the sectarian violence under control," Abizaid said.

    'A game of whack-a-mole'

This is so fucking cute

    Sectarian killings in Iraq have escalated since the February 22 bombing of the Shiite Askariya Mosque in Samarra. Nearly 6,000 people died in Iraqi violence in May and June alone, according to a recent U.N. report.

    McCain was also concerned that U.S. troops are simply being moved from one trouble spot to another.

    "What I worry about is we're playing a game of whack-a-mole," he said.

    McCain cited Falluja and Ramadi as examples.

    "Everybody knows we've got big problems in Ramadi, and I said where are you going to get the troops? 'Well we're going to have to move them from Falluja.'

    "Now we're going to have to move troops into Baghdad from someplace else," he said referring to the deployment of U.S. troops to the capital to support Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki's crackdown on insurgents. "It's very disturbing."

    Nearly 2,600 U.S. service members have been killed in the three-year-old war.

    Fears of warfare spreading

    Abizaid warned that if "nonstate" enemies of the United States dominate this century, "We are in for even greater dangers.

    "It should not be lost on us, for example, that Hezbollah fields greater and longer-range weapons than most regional armed forces.

    "If left unchecked, it is possible to imagine chemical, biological or even nuclear weapons being transferred to militias or terrorist organizations by a state actor."

*The war going as planned? Absurd concept. See, ya gotta have a plan tor anything to go according to it.

The “Decider” and Deputy and Assistant Deciders of Action in Iraq are much more like the Underwear Gnomes of South Park: “Phase One: Collect underpants. Phase Three: Profit”

Ya see?: “Phase One: Start war. Phase Three: Profit” Except in the war Phase Three started at the same time as Phase One. There never was a Phase Two. It received as much attention from The Idiot Monkey Crew as it did from The Underwear Gnomes.

‘Course there were some folks who thought there should be some attention paid to Phase Two, but they were fired.

The public just smiled…and re-elected the Idiot Monkey Crew because they felt their leader was actually doing a good job or it would be unwise to change horses in the middle of the flood even if the horse they were on had four broken legs, was blind, and had spent its life eating Jimson weed.

 

 

And Now?

In August of 2004, Bush created the definition of oxymoron; he declared our actions on Iraq a "Catastrophic Success."  Bush had a rather mind-bending take on the concept 'success.' "Had we to do it over again, we would look at the consequences of catastrophic success – being so successful, so fast, that an enemy that should have surrendered or been done in, escaped and lived to fight another day," he said. How this works out in the sloshing frat-party punchbowl in his cranium I have no idea. That it actually has explained the little problems there for some folks boggles.

So here we are, two years later. Just curious: Vote for one

Our War Monkey's Heroic Adventure has been
A) Catastrophic
B) A success

Extra points, short essay: The original statement was...